What Makes a Good Mom? How Do I Know If I Am a Good Mom?

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, I discovered shortly after the birth of my firstborn that a mom needs a village too. In college, I was advised to find a mentor teacher, as I studied to become a teacher.  Later, when I was discerning my vocation, I was advised to find a spiritual director. Therefore,  it makes sense to me that I need mentors and role models, to help me on the path of motherhood. Fortunately, I found three wonderful role models. I invite you to follow them along with me. They have lessons to teach us and they make good company. 

St Monica, the Persevering and Patient Mom: Every other week, a few of my friends and I gather and we pray for our children. One of the prayers we chose for our meetings is dedicated to St Monica. St Monica prayed and fasted for years for the conversion of her son, St. Augustine. I can imagine her tears throughout those years leading to St Augustine's conversion. I am also convinced she was at times tempted to feel despair and abandonment. Thankfully she persevered. Her faith bore fruits.  And thanks to her perseverance, now we have an amazing Doctor of the Church and an awesome Saint in St Augustine. St Monica reminds us to pray for our children. She reminds us to be patient. She reminds us to persevere. She reminds us to have hope.

St Gianna Beretta Molla, the Devoted Mom: I cannot remember the name of the Priest nor where I heard this homily, but the following words stayed with me: "I put myself third." St Gianna definitely put herself third. She put God and her family ahead of herself. When doctors had to decide between saving her life and the life of her baby, she insisted that her baby be saved. St Gianna shows us how to love with a sacrificial love. She demonstrates what it means to be a devoted mom; so dedicated to her child that she was willing to put her baby's life ahead of her own. We are often called to put our family, our children, and others ahead of us. 

The Blessed Virgin Mary, Our Mother: Last but not least, we have our Blessed Mother. Our Lady is the ultimate role model for moms. First of all, our Lady knew how to be an asset to Her village. For instance, She visited St Elizabeth, knowing that Her cousin needed support. In addition, our Lady knew how to observe and she pondered in Her Heart all the events that She and our Lord experienced. The biggest lesson I have learned from our Lady is that She did not get in the way of the Cross. Our Lady did not dissuade our Lord from accomplishing His mission. Instead, She was by His side from birth to death. Many times I am tempted to think I shield my children from suffering. I am learning that not only can't I prevent suffering from entering the lives of my children, but I am also learning that if I step between my children and their Cross, I am most likely preventing them from achieving their mission. Just like our Lady, I will pray, I will ponder/meditate and I will do my best, I will get out of their way and then say to God "Thy Will be done."

Seven years ago, I became a mom and my life forever changed. I have been striving to be a good mom and trying my best to meet my children's needs. Although it has been 7 years, I still ask myself this pertinent question: Am I  a Good Mom? Someday I hope my children will answer yes to that question. In the meantime, I am grateful for the role models we have and for my village. Above all, I thank God for the grace to keep striving. 

About the Author

Marie Smith is a wife, a mom, and an educator. She is the happiest when she shares her faith with others. Whether it be praying with others, attending a conference, or other faith formation activities, she is constantly seeking opportunities to nurture her faith. 

Marie hopes her writing will be a source of comfort, encouragement and laughter.

Image citation: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Saint_Augustine_and_Saint_Monica.jpg.  Public domain.