 As I have journeyed through an intentional season of healing, the Lord has blessed me with vivid imagery.
My heart, wounded and broken, is a sweet little garden. But as I turn to see the garden up close, it is overwhelmed with weeds. The thorns and branches strangle any life that tries to grow, and keeps out all new life that tries to enter. As I walk through the garden, I see a man crouched among the thorns. Who is this man? It is Jesus, weeding in the garden of my heart.
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The following reflection is the second to be featured from participants at the 2021 GIVEN Forum. At the Forum, participants prayed with the following image, and a some felt drawn to use their gifts to share their meditations through our blog. More about the GIVEN Forum can be found at the bottom of this page.  This year at the GIVEN Institute Forum, we had a prayer workshop held by Katie from Behold. For this workshop she gave us this image to meditate on depicting Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus, anointing the feet of Jesus and drying them with her hair.
What struck me first was Jesus’ posture. Since this was the obvious focal point, I took some time looking around the rest of the image to see what else might stand out. The last thing I noticed was a woman in the shadows, yet unashamedly with her hair wrapped tightly around Jesus’ feet while everyone else looked on with shock, curiosity, or annoyance. But again, after noticing her, my eyes focused back on Jesus and what His posture was saying to Mary and to the others simultaneously. The following reflection is the first of many to be featured from participants at the 2021 GIVEN Forum. At the Forum, participants prayed with the following image, and a some felt drawn to use their gifts to share their meditations through our blog. More about the GIVEN Forum can be found at the bottom of this page.  Praying with James Tissot’s “The Ointment of the Magdalen” feels much like returning to a poem. I come with my original impressions, but there are also new details to be discovered and contemplated. I first saw this image during the GIVEN Forum 2021, and my prayer mostly focused on Mary, who is at Jesus’ feet. The first time she was there,* her sister entreated the Lord to basically “make her do something” (see Luke 10:40), and Jesus, who affirmed Mary in her being, found it more precious than her doing.
 “Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you.” Isaiah 49
As I pray on these words of Scripture, memories flood my mind with moments of closeness with my family. I recall instants in my life where the Father has felt so close to me through the love of others. Such thoughts that come to mind are those times I felt safe, seen, known, and loved by my mother, father, siblings, and dear friends. In such moments I felt at home, even in some of the most challenging times. For the past few months, I have been praying with and pondering the icon of Our Lady of Tenderness. This image has been coming in and out of my life for years now, but only recently has the Lord seemingly been entrusting it to me. As I sit with this icon, these words from the book of Isaiah rest on my heart.  “I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done unto me according to Thy will.” - Luke 1:38
As I look at this image, those beautiful words spoken by our lady during one of the most pivotal moments in history, come to mind. I am struck by the softness of the expression of Our Lady and her demeanor. She has such reverence for the “fiat” she just proclaimed. Her head bowed before the Lord of the universe who made Himself present in her womb. As one of my favorite images, I am not only struck by the softness of the brushstrokes, but the image itself. Our Lady's expression is one of humble joy. She is humbled by the presence of the Lord within her and that is expressed through her posture. The artist captured her femininity beautifully.  Christ is risen.
On Easter Sunday, we celebrated Christ’s resurrection. We sang, “Jesus Christ is risen today, Alleluia!” “Today.” How can we stay mindful of Christ’s resurrection today and everyday, especially during this pandemic? To be honest, I thought it would be easier. I thought I would have more time to pray. I thought there would be less distractions… but I have found myself more distracted than ever as the days of quarantine start to fly by.  "Save us, Lord! We are perishing!" (Matthew 8:25) Crashing of waves, rolling of thunder, whistling of winds...These are things that I feel and hear as I pray with this image of the storm surrounding the disciples. In this painting, the artist conveys anxiety, fear, frustration, and helplessness through his many brushstrokes. I was drawn to take this image to prayer as Jesus seems asleep in my little boat in life. Don't we all feel this way? Coronavirus has been a storm for all of us. Each of us has had lives changed by it. You might be experiencing loss in your spiritual life without the availability of the sacraments. Maybe you have lost your job, and, for the first time are experiencing the uncertainty of unemployment. Or maybe you have a family member who has passed or is severely ill in this time. Whatever your circumstances, whatever your cross- you are in a boat with the Lord. While he is here, he seems to be sleeping, and often what is felt are the tossing of the waves and the turbulence of wind blowing back and forth. Looking at this image, I can easily place myself in the position of the man steering, whose oar has been taken from him. In these recent times, life in many aspects has been uncertain, and any sense of security seems to be taken from me. What are often groundings to feel safe - job, home, friends - all of these seem to be in flux. Like this disciple without his ability to control or steer the boat, I have come to realize that they are all comforts. While such things make us feel in control, the reality is, we are not in control. Jesus is in control. All is gift. Like the disciples, who wake Jesus up in such times of helplessness, we need to cling to Him in such uncertainty. He is with us. Like he said to his dearest friends, he says to us, “Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?” (Matthew 8:26) Sister, you are not alone in this time. The Lord is with you, calling you to Himself in this time of vulnerability. When securities seem to come out from under us, we are faced with opportunities for faith. In such moments, let us call to the Lord in our need and place our trust in Him.
Citation for image: Delacrouix, Eugenet. Christ Asleep during the Tempest. 1853, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/436176,public domain. |
